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um - MoFo Operations
a division of retarded daisy

Date: 2007-05-17 22:07
Subject: um
Security: Public
bill slapped me a couple days ago. it was not even 7am and he woke me up, yelling at me. i was laying in bed naked and he came over (edit: after yelling at me and throwing my cat diddle, brown gold yellow black, off the bed from next to me) and slapped me. it didn't leave a mark but it hurt and i was completely shocked. needless to say now i'm kinda afraid of him. he wanted to use it as a brand new beginning, a jumping off point. but since then i'm extremely disillusioned with this whole thing and i don't know what to do. i love him, and i want to take this chance at a new beginning because things between us were so good at the start. i know i've done things to fuck it up, but so has he. so we're both at fault. and in the past i've slapped him a lot, but this is the first time a man has ever raised his hand to me. my first instinct was to grab my cats and leave. but i was a weak little girl and i let him hold me and tell me he's sorry and it'll never happen again. friends, if i become a statistic, do not speak ill of me. i always swore that i would leave a man on one of 3 conditions: 1- he cheats 2- he's gay 3- he hits me. and he hit me. and i was terrified. he promised to do all kinds o' shyte like go back on his meds and get another job etc but i still told him i want us to break up. yet somehow he's determined to make this work. i don't even look at him the same way anymore. it's so hard and i don't know what to do. we're moving to a totally different city in a few days. and i don't know what to do. i love him. but is he going to do it again?
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Ender Shileikis
User: pathfinder_1995
Date: 2007-05-19 21:39 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Did he HIT you, or did he just give you a good slap? In all honesty, I think there is a big difference. I mean, it's pretty acceptable for a woman to give a man a good slapping. Why not the other way around?

I have to say, I slapped Kathryn. Twice. She was shocked as all hell, but we agree it wasn't abuse. My reason for slapping her was totally unjustified and wrong (in hindsight), but I think that it is important to express your anger with your significant other, preferably in a healthier manner.

Really though, what is the difference between some yelling (verbal abuse) and a slapping (physical abuse)? Personally, I'd rather get a firm slapping than be destroyed with words. So, not that I know ANYTHING, but try to put some perspective on the situation and then ask yourself how 'abusive' it really was.

So, say, if you had cheated on him, and he slapped you, I would consider that justified. So, why did he slap you exactly?

All that said, it's probably best to get some space and time between you. Even though this whole thing w/ Kathryn has been tearing me to shreds, I feel far more whole and at ease with myself since we've been apart.

So, I say separate, go to your own corners, figure things out with yourselves, and then revisit the situation later.
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User: ihatepavel
Date: 2007-05-20 21:58 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
I disagree that it's OK to hit your partner, in any way shape or form, and that includes women slapping men. It's never acceptable unless you are defending yourself against a physical attack.

However, naturally it IS generally more severe when men hit women, because men are physically stronger than women, GENERALLY SPEAKING. Obviously there are exceptions, but I can't defend myself physically against many men, including Arian.

On this note, Jennie's partner is a very big guy, so I imagine this physical disparity exists in her relationship as well.
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