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um - MoFo Operations
a division of retarded daisy

Date: 2007-05-17 22:07
Subject: um
Security: Public
bill slapped me a couple days ago. it was not even 7am and he woke me up, yelling at me. i was laying in bed naked and he came over (edit: after yelling at me and throwing my cat diddle, brown gold yellow black, off the bed from next to me) and slapped me. it didn't leave a mark but it hurt and i was completely shocked. needless to say now i'm kinda afraid of him. he wanted to use it as a brand new beginning, a jumping off point. but since then i'm extremely disillusioned with this whole thing and i don't know what to do. i love him, and i want to take this chance at a new beginning because things between us were so good at the start. i know i've done things to fuck it up, but so has he. so we're both at fault. and in the past i've slapped him a lot, but this is the first time a man has ever raised his hand to me. my first instinct was to grab my cats and leave. but i was a weak little girl and i let him hold me and tell me he's sorry and it'll never happen again. friends, if i become a statistic, do not speak ill of me. i always swore that i would leave a man on one of 3 conditions: 1- he cheats 2- he's gay 3- he hits me. and he hit me. and i was terrified. he promised to do all kinds o' shyte like go back on his meds and get another job etc but i still told him i want us to break up. yet somehow he's determined to make this work. i don't even look at him the same way anymore. it's so hard and i don't know what to do. we're moving to a totally different city in a few days. and i don't know what to do. i love him. but is he going to do it again?
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User: soakingup
Date: 2007-05-18 06:02 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
If he'll do it once this early then chances are he may do it again. Don't let it happen, lady. You're worth WAY more.
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